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The Man I Wanted To Marry - My Father

Updated: Aug 31, 2020

Part 1


Mom had always been dominant than my Dad. She is a couple of years older, two inches taller and twenty pounds heavier. Emotionally, she is always present and an active disciplinarian. Above all, she was our bread winner.


Dad, on the other hand, was a passive person. He is often quiet, skeptical and careful. My parents are completely the opposite. Even though they are, they managed to compliment and worked their marriage for 40 years.


More than half of my Mom’s life, she was a labouring - like she was 7. She retired 10 years ago. While my Dad, jobless for many years. This situation had given Mom little time at home and Dad was, well - always around. His availability made me knew I wanted to marry him someday.


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so we decided to share a scoopful

of artisan rocky road ice cream

underneath the Japanese umbrella table.


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I can’t help myself anymore,

so I utter the words,

“Dad, I already want to get married.”




Many years had passed and the right time came. One day, I invited him for a dinner date. We had Vietnamese food until its already dark outside. Yet, we refused to go home so we decided to share a scoopful of artisan rocky road ice cream underneath the Japanese umbrella table. I had composed my declaration of love few days ago. Still, the ice cream was melting, waiting for me to utter it out. I tried to catch his attention as he uncomfortably make glances to the passersby. And when I finally get the urge to speak, I held on tight to the cup and looked him in the eyes with so much adoration just like back in the days, when I was his ‘little daddy’s girl’. Soon after, I can’t help myself anymore, so I utter the words, “Dad, I already want to get married.” There I go, I blurted it out and for reasons I don’t know why, I hated myself for a while. Good thing, I got an ‘OK’ reply. My dad was very good in keeping his feelings. Minutes later, he signalled for a way home.


We had a long jammed journey from the city to our home, and we we’re both speechless. As we were sitting at the far end of the coach, many things are going on in my mind. Im trying to remember as to when my fascination with my dad started but memories are blurry. Perhaps the picture was archived into my unconsciousness.


As soon as we arrived home, mom was obviously waiting for our return. She marched to their bedroom and Dad followed. I was left alone, slowly, directing myself into mine. I retired in bed gazing at the picture frame of my 4 years old self in pig tails, biting my nails and sitting in Dad's lap. That is when I felt tired and I tried myself to sleep. But hours later, I still found myself wide awake, tossing and turning in bed. I’m torn between mom and dad. How can I tell Dad that I wanted to marry him?


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