When A Filipino Lived With the Indians

PART 1

ARRIVAL DAY

It was a sunny Sunday morning when I found myself knocking at the door number 13-03. That is the third unit at the thirteenth floor. Together with my huge pink luggage, native sack carrier, Ikea straw bag, plastic laundry basket, and few suitcases, I present myself to the one who opened the door. She had the brightest smile and a welcoming gesture. Vanaja, as she introduced herself to me, is the proud wife of Gopalakrishnan, whom I signed a tenancy contract with.

Vanaja explained to me that my room at the far end of the kitchen will not be ready for 2 nights. They just painted the walls to treat it from bugs infestation. So, I settled my things at the receiving area and will be sleeping at the bench. Yet, they offered their masters bedroom for me to sleep the whole day.

FIRST NIGHT

My first night with the Indians was a delight. I woke up from my afternoon nap because of the smoky feeling which engulfed the whole unit. When I peeked at the kitchen, I can see why. The women were merrily cooking something for dinner. I leaned at the door to watch them in total astonishment. They said it was a special day because of my arrival and they would love to introduce to me their cuisine as a welcome.

MY HOUSEMATES

Everybody was home that evening:

Pala - as I fondly call him for short of Gopalakrishnan, is our main tenant holder and the husband of Vanaja, who is twenty-two months pregnant of their first child. She works as an enrolled nurse in the same hospital where I also report for duty.

I was also acquainted to a quiet guy who is employed as an IT professional, Sashi. Together with his housewife, Sangheetta, they occupied the other room.

WELCOME DINNER

We all sat on the floor in circle and in front of an airing Television. They passed me a brown flat paper to substitute a plate. For a second, I waited for my utensils. But I suddenly realised we will just eat with our bare hands. After a minute, Vanaja went out to the kitchen to get the dishes. Then, she proudly presented to us - but specifically to me, a bowl of mutton curry and a plate of naan.

Pala, served me first. He thought me how the curry should be eaten with the naan and insisted that I should taste it first before they should all start eating. When I did, they intently watched my reaction with pride. Of course, they asked me how it was. I said, it was good - because it was really, only if it weren’t too spicy. After I had said that, I knew my cheeks turned red, first because it was too hot and second because I was too shy to admit.

We moved on with our food while watching an Indian musical love story program on TV. The program was fascinating but since I can't understand Tamil, I pretended I comprehend the whole story anyway.

HUSBAND AND WIFE SLEPT WITH ME

After our hearty dinner, Sangheetta and Sashi had retired in their bedroom. But Pala and Vanaja decided to sleep with me at the living area. Although, they let me occupy the long wooden chair, it was low enough for me and Vanaja to whisper at each other while talking about our lives. I learned more about their structured courtship, her arranged love life, disappointments in career, family dynamics, struggles against cultural beliefs and how she is fascinatingly different from me. I’m pretty sure that as soon as the early dawn came, I closed my eyes with so much warmth from her friendship.

SHOCKING TOILET

The morning after, Vanaja introduced the whereabouts of the house. Since everyone shares one toilet and bath, she was particular about its cleanliness. Although I don’t mind sharing the responsibility of cleaning it, I was shocked that I almost don’t have to. It was one of the spotless washroom I had ever seen. She told me everyone clean as they go and they don’t mind if I don’t ‘cause they’ll love to do it for me anyway. It was a relief for me not because I was spared of doing one of the most hated chores inside the house. But because, prior to my move in with them, every speculations, assumptions and impression that people had warned me regarding their hygiene, was in fact, FALSE.

BEING A HOUSEWIFE

Few weeks after, I finally had a good conversation with Sangheetta. I learned that she and her husband are newlywed. Since I am single and career-focused, being married and being a housewife is not in my radar yet. Observing their dynamics doesn’t interest me but their presence is undeniable. Every morning, Sangheetta prepares warm water for Shashi to bath, food to eat, and shoes to wear for office. After their breakfast, she’ll always accompany him outside the corridor, kiss him goodbye and watch him until he is gone from her sight. Every night, she hustle up again and reverse the whole process she did in the morning. As time goes by, I had learned to admire how she adores her husband.

DRESS CODE

Finally, my long day off came. I decided to go out for some night time with friends when Pala arrived. He was beaming with happiness, showing off his new camera. Obviously he was proud and gleeful about it. He told me I looked pretty with my dress and deserved some photoshoot with Sangheetta and Vanaja. We all agreed. I quickly readied for a pose when Pala excitedly asked the women to change and wear their best saris. They hurried in excitement and I was in complete awe of how they are so proud with their traditional attires. Contrary to my country, that is heavily influenced by western pop culture, we do not parade our native clothes. It is something my fellow countrymen are hesitant of wearing. In fact, we felt embarrassed about it. But these ladies beside me, made me respect them and their heritage.

DISCOMFORT WITH DIFFERENCES

After a few months, everything are still working well with us, we were able to live in harmony except for a little discomfort which I felt with Sangheetta. She was always sitting near the main door where I usually pass each time I go to work. Her stare from my head to toe makes me conscious about my outfit. As far as I know about their customs, women don’t show off too much skin. Regardless, I maintained my fashion style. Im sure she was just culture-shocked with my clothing choices. Other than that, we tolerated each other’s preferences - hoping that we could get a good threshold with our differences.

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