Lessons I Learned From My Travel With Mom

PART 2:

I wandered around the town - walked and walked tagging along my heavy baggage. I can still remember some of the places around. It all looked the same as my childhood recollection of it, except that it is older and filthier.

As soon as I begun to feel tired, I took a jeepney, crossed the scary and disorganised road and searched for a pension house to stay. I chose a room with 2 double beds. I was hoping that I can persuade mom to sleep with me. But ironically, I opt to off my phone so she wouldn’t be able to reach me. Afterwards, I shut the world around me.

I felt good and well rested when I woke up early at night. I called Mom and she offered to pick me up for a dinner with relatives. I declined. But of course, Mom is Mom. She always wins. She eventually convinced me to stay with her at Aunt's place. So the next day, I met her at the mall full of displayed masks because the city is celebrating their first day of Maskara (Mask) Festival. I went gaga and was interrupted when Aunt Yen arrived to fetch us.

Anyway, I busied myself mapping out the places I wanted to visit on our first night at Aunt's residence. Before we sleep, Mom talked to her about my plans. Unfortunately, Aunt discouraged me and she won that night.

The next day, Uncle Martin was supposed to drive us so we can settle Mom's agendas. But he suddenly had something more urgent to attend. We resort in taking a public transport instead. Our commute wasn't comfortable due to all the dust and smoke that pestered us along the way. But mom is determined to sell our ramshackle house and lot. I was hurt when we arrived at the vicinity and to finally let go of something that had been valuable to us. It was full of precious childhood memories.

Days gone by, I was always left at Aunt’s. Mom had been too busy in processing the papers of our properties which she was selling. Two days before we will bid good bye to the province, I asked mom if we could at least go to the famous hot spring resort. She refused telling me that she did not come all the way from Manila for leisure. She was there to settle important matters. I was stunned.

Swiftly, I remember her telling me over the phone that she needs to go back to Negros to sell our estate. But I diffused it. I replaced what I heard with what I wanted to hear. I felt disappointed from I don't know whom - myself or Mom.

The next day, I occupied myself playing with Aunt’s dogs and preparing our bags back to Manila. In my mind, was a repetition of all the days we stayed in Bacolod. I was there for pleasure after a hard months of working abroad. I wanted to unwind, explore around, shot attractive photos, and enjoy the culture. But Mom's purpose was to engage in settling our property. To her, that is what she came for and that only matters.

We went back in Manila with all of her schedules a success while mine wasn't pushed through. Looking at her, I can see fortitude. Mom was mom. She is still the master. Even if sometimes at my age it was hard for me to obey her. She always executes firmness with all her decisions. Because of that, my respect to her had grown more.

Some people said to try travelling with our mother because there will be plenty of valuable lessons to learn. In fact, after my ruined itinerary, I was still glad, I travelled with Mom. I had deepened my understanding of how we are different from each other. I saw the other side of her strength and personality. Above all, I realised that not all people travel the same way as we do albeit we journey together. Each time we travel, may have different purpose and different experience.

Sometimes I found myself arguing with my husband because I refuse to go in a touristy places where most people go. I feel like I will not be of different from them. But my travel with Mom made me realised that despite we all go to the same places, our exposures, insights and feelings may not always be the same as the others. Our background, values, reasons for visiting the place, may influence the overall experience. After all, its the journey, the lessons from the people we travelled with, and the magic it creates when we knew ourselves and the one we travel with in a deeper way.

RELATED TOPIC:

https://www.thediaryofahousewife.com/post/i-travelled-with-my-mother-and-we-had-a-huge-fight

I Travelled With My Mother And We Had A Huge Fight

PART 1

A phone call from mom woke me up. She decided to disturb me with her news of going for a vacation in our province. For me, It was almost 30 years since I haven’t been to my birthplace. Although, I have lots of happy memories from my hometown, it was never easy to go home. First, because plane flights are not as popular, convenient and cheap during my younger years. Second, because mom had a phobia in travelling by the sea. And third, because we simply doesn’t have any time or good reason to go back.

For my mother, going back after many years was a thrill. I can obviously hear her excitement from the other side of the world. Her delight influenced me into blurting out that I wanted to go and travel with her. I saw that it was a good chance to finally re-explore the place where half of my childhood memories sets. Also, it was a fine time to finally travel and bond with mom.

After we hang up the phone, I’m into another dimension imagining all the beautiful scenery I wanted to witness. I was also listing in my mind all the food and restaurants which I wanted to try. As our set date is nearing, I began packing my huge luggage full of nice attires. I played dressed-up in the mirror to simulate all the cute dresses I prepared. I was so ready that I forgot nothing including having to pack a fully charged camera battery. Yes, I’m feelin’ touristy and ecstatic.

When the day finally came, I met mom at the airport. I decided to take a short layover in Manila to wait for her and have a an hour flight together going to Bacolod. Bacolod is the capital city of Negros Occidental, a large island that hails from the Visayas region of the Philippines. Basically, it was situated in the central part of the country.

I reviewed my bucket list while on flight too make sure I had used up all our time well in exploring the city. I also squeezed a side trip going to the famous beautiful beach. In fact, I expanded  my time by deciding to go straight to the airport after an exhausting 12 hours night shift duty. That means, I was wide awake for more than 24 hours when mom and I arrived from our destination.

The city (as I recall it) doesn’t changed much after almost 3 decades. So, it was not surprising that mom was already unfamiliar with the specificity of the place. As we got to the town where the address is directing us, we decided to ask people in each corner of the streets if they knew someone named Yen - mom’s long lost cousin. This system of finding someone made me really exhausted.

Until, finally we were directed to a town hall. A good-hearted security guard allowed us to wait for their boss. According to him, the director of the geological division of the city will be reporting anytime soon. She is Aunt Yen.

We were allowed to wait for aunt to report for work at the outdoor garage. It was almost noontime and the sun on our faces was already causing too much discomfort. That moment ignited me with tantrums. I felt like I was going crazy and will soon pass out from the heat and not having sleep. I tried so hard to nap but I simply can’t with all the inconvenience. Also, I kept on asking the guards about the time and grumble every minute. I started to complain about how people in the province are taking things too slow. At this moment, Mom, in her effort to divert my irritation, asked me to go out for a while and explore the places nearby.

She took me to the cathedral where we used to worship every Sunday. The church looks and feels like I time-travelled from my past. I can see that mom is having a good time reminiscing all her past experiences in the place. Of course, I poses for lots of shots. What else should I do but materialise my touristy desire. When we eventually decided to go home, we passed by my kindergarten. I felt proud and saw how mom was all smile and happy.

However, when we got back at the town hall to anticipate for my Aunt, we were greeted with a bad news. Aunt Yen will only be able to report for duty in the afternoon. This announcement by the securities boiled my blood to death. How can I even rest and move on for our next itinerary? I begun to wail at my mom. I blamed her for the ruined day.

We are supposed to stay at my Aunt’s house. She invited us to stay in their abode for 2 weeks. In addition, her husband freed up his schedule to drive us into places. But I gave mom all the sharp look, dragged my stuffs and shouted b@llsh#ts at her while I leave her behind.

RELATED TOPIC:

https://www.thediaryofahousewife.com/post/lessons-i-learned-from-my-travel-with-mom