- Tina Pascual
- Oct 25, 2019
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 31, 2020
TOTGA Part 2: I TRUSTED RAIN BUT…
We proceed at the outdoor poolside area of the hotel. The surrounding’s beauty is convincingly astounding. The pool has a large garden complete with bars and restaurants. To top it all up, it's overlooking the prestigious Manila Bay
Together, we sat down at the dark side of the lawn and ordered some cocktail drinks. From far end, was a stage where the singing performers in traditional attires was singing ballads. It soothes the ambience.
Few minutes though, while he was about to confess something, it drizzled. Damn! Rain quickly stood up and decided to go home before the rain pours so hard. Nevertheless, it was a lovely night.
The following few weeks, I became so consumed about my university life. The next thing I knew, I was voted to be the female representative of a charity organization in our campus. Alongside with me was Rain for the males. Every weekend, we are called for a leadership training at the nearby park of our school. But Rain was always nowhere to be found.
One afternoon was a surprise, he finally showed up in our circle. The group had actually decided to stepped him down from the role but he insisted his rights. He actually, convinced me to plan with him for the upcoming charity program. I gave in despite all the hesitations of the members.
After the meeting, Rain looked too disturbed. He kept on mumbling to himself that after all, he doesn’t want to be a leader. He only accepted the role because he just wanted to spend some time with me. My response was a clueless look.
I walked home with Rain and Ellie. But Rain was walking fast and head down ahead of us. He was consumed with his heavy thoughts until Ellie and I were almost hit by a jeepney*.
“That is not the proper way of handling a woman”, taught Ellie to Rain. “If you want to be liked, make sure to be a gentleman.”
But Rain replied, “Tina, doesn’t like too gentle. She likes it when men are a bit strong and rough”.
I was stunned. I looked him straight in the eyes for a long seconds. How can he know that much about me and yet not really that much? I mean, yes, I like a bit of arrogance but deep inside, I also wanted to be treated like a princess.
Fast forward to the end of the semester, Ellie invited us into her house for a birthday party. Many friends came including Rain. We made noise, watched TV, played guitar, sing songs, ate dinner, had lots of snacks, laughter and fun. We also played my favourite board game. And aside from me feelin’ frustrated when Rain gave up at the middle of our scrabble (which according to him, its a plain boring game), our day went well.
Soon after it was night, everyone left except me. As usual, Ellie and I were trapped in a bottomless conversation before sleeping. Also, she took the opportunity to tell me a serious confession.
“Rain was madly in love with you”, and as simple as that.
All of a sudden, I became mute. I was startled. How can I be so naive not to know?
“In fact, he is desperate for you to know but you seem not to care about what he feels. You are so dear to him that he tries to make time with you as much as he could”, Ellie added.
Uh-oh!
All our scenes flashed back at me, everything - including the times when he met me at the university hall with a big smile, teasing me and telling me I am his big crush. As well as the time when he stayed late to have a dance with me during an annual acquaintance party in the campus.
For the first time in my teenage life, I felt so loved by a friend and I don’t know if that is of Ellie or Rain. But at that moment, only one thing I am sure of, that is considering Rain. He is not that hard to like and love after all. That night, I vowed to my self to tell him. Tell Rain how much he means to me too as well.
So, the next day, I hurried to Rain’s boarding house and looked for him. But instead, I found Niel, his roommate.
“Where’s Rain?”
“You’re too late, he took tickets going back to his province.”
“What? But that was far away!”, I protested.
“He changed his mind of enrolling for the summer classes”, Niel explained.
“But he promised me! He promised me to take summer courses with me!”, I shouted.
I walked out exasperated. I vowed to my self that I will wait for his return the next semester - I will wait for Rain.
I seized summer classes one day at a time. Each day became harder as I have no other means of contacting Rain (that was a year where there were no internet and mobile phone yet, by the way). This was the time I realised how important he had become to me, and yes, I actually did fell in love with him too. I just found it hard to comprehend what I felt for him ‘cause normal teenage and university stuffs just came crossing in between. But his absence made me more and more convince that I do - after all.
When summer classes was finally over, I anticipated for Rain’s return. Everyday, I knocked at his boarding house to check if he already came back. Until one afternoon, Niel told me that he is not coming back for good.
“He just made his girlfriend pregnant and decided to stop schooling for the meantime to raise his new family”, he explained.
My heart sank. “But how did that happened? I never knew he had a girlfriend!”, I am in too much confusion.
“He met a girl when he went back and boom! Something happened.”
“But who?”, I insisted.
“I don’t know…”
I went blank after. My world crashed. I just found myself back at the hotel’s pool area. I knew it was a good windy afternoon. The sunset reflects the building. I stayed there until it was dark and until the clouds showered with tears. Poor me, alone and literally crying. All I have now is only rain pouring down on my face.
*JEEPNEY - A Philippine jitney bus converted into a jeep. It is the main public and iconic transportation used in the country.
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