How To Swim

The Philippines is a set of thousands of islands and islets. Therefore, I am sure that someone who doesn’t know how to swim in my country is pretty unusual. Unfortunately, I am definite that not much of them can relate to me - because I am one of that unusual. In fact, even if majority of Filipinos said that, 'life's a beach', it wasn't true for me.

Yes, I can’t swim. I grew up in the city where there was no access to beach.

Aside from the fact that I can’t swim, I am afraid.

My greatest phobia are deep bodies of water - especially the still one and as far as I can remember it started when I was about 8 years old. My friend tried to scare me by telling stories that beneath every bodies of water are hungry giant crocodiles swimming and waiting to devour anyone who will fall into it. Since then, it has been in my suppressed imagination. It comes out as an intense fear to be in seas, rivers or swimming pools.

But as I grew older, and started air travelling, I realised how important swimming is as a survival skill every time I looked out of the plane window. Simply, the earth is made of a massive liquid form. I knew by then I have no choice.

Other than survival reasons, social water fun is one of my considerations. I felt embarrassed to parade my swimsuit each time I am invited in a swimming party yet not knowing how to swim at all.

So one day, I told myself that I should learn.

But really, how to swim? Because after many years of attempt and lots of concerned people who taught me, I still can’t.

When my husband and I moved into a beautiful condo resort which owns four swimming pools, it finally motivated me to learn.

My husband having to grew up in a small island with a river just across their house, is an expert. He encourage to teach me almost every night. It took me months until I gave in. I had a free session since. There are times that we invited my self-taught swimmer brother to boost the force and the fun. For four months of lesson, I can't say that I am already good at it. Because the truth is, I still don't know how. Nevertheless, I was able to ponder unto why I still can’t.

...because really, how to swim?

I realised its not all about techniques. But its all about me. Here’s why and how I can’t actually do it:

1. I don’t conquer my fear - my fear of water, my fear of drowning, my fear of bloating from all the water which I might gulp, and my fear of not being able to learn at all.

2. Although I knew it is necessary for me to know how to swim, I am not strongly convinced that I need it.

3. I am not very motivated, focused and determined.

4. I don’t trust my body, my instinct.

5. I don’t believe that I actually can.

6. I am not confident in the water. My unforeseen imagination of that giant crocodile who is waiting to devour me had blinded me.

7. It never genuinely interest me.

So how can I actually swim?

Reverse!

Reversing my beliefs and perceptions is what I must do to be able to effectively spread my arms and wiggle my legs like I’m a free flowing fish. Because those are the facts that actually hinders me of knowing how to.

In addition, what is ironic of me is that, I am afraid to swim yet I am afraid to drown.

To this date, I am still a constant student…but I am glad that I am learning about myself while I’m learning how to paddle my body in the water.

Indeed, here’s my new mantra which I got from my brother which I would like to passed on: ‘techniques are easy and its not in what kind of water or how deep it is…but it depends from what’s within you’.

So, how about you, are you learning something new lately? Or do you want to learn something but are afraid of? Maybe you had been learning something for months or even years yet still never got it right. What’s stopping you?

*for self-taught, I would like to share how my brother had improved his swimming skills by just teaching himself alone: have someone record your performance every time. Criticise it, compare it to others especially to the professionals and try to track your improvements.