- Tina Pascual
- Mar 14, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 31, 2020
The Man I wanted to Marry - My Father Continued…
PART 2
It was drizzling as I woke up. I wanted to go out to purchase something in the mall before the heavy rain pours. So, I hurried for my 'wake-up' routine. Few minutes later, I went downstairs and I saw an envelope at the dining table - the family was invited for my cousin’s wedding. Yeehaw!
A couple of months after, we were all dressed up for the event. I wore pink and glittery silk dress and a black stiletto with pink roses. Dad, wore the traditional barong and black slacks as compliance to the dress code. While mom, was - oh so beautiful with her pink cape and chiffon dress. She looks dropped-dead glorious.
The overlay was laid from the outside of the chapel to make the bridal walk a little bit longer.
It was a sunny afternoon in a golf and country club chapel. And like many, the bride was fashionably late. While waiting for her arrival, guests were directed outside the chapel lawn to witness her walk. I positioned myself under the shade of lanterned trees. On my feet was the edge of the red carpet. The overlay was laid from the outside of the chapel to make the bridal walk a little bit longer. Dad had joined me while I am in deep thought.
I tried hard to be faithful
with my promises.
Yet now, I can’t help myself
not to break his heart.
_________
I occasionally glance at his face and noticed the glare of the sunlight on his forehead. Dad’s lines are more prominent now. Many things must have changed after many years. I was dismayed and confused. How can I let him know that I wanted to marry him? - someone exactly like him?, his mirror?
But now that I am an adult, some matters shifted. I tried hard to be faithful with my promises of marrying Dad - someone precisely like him. Yet now, I can’t help myself not to break his heart.
As years gone by, I became much more attracted to Mom instead. Lately, I was so drawn to a man who is my mom’s male version, a man who is perfectly like her. A man I passionately wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
An hour after the ceremony, the reception was held. We were seated right in front of the three-tier cake. Adjacent to it is where the bride’s father took her newly wed daughter for a special dance. As usual, I find it too sentimental. How can electra complex be reliable?
Electra complex, by the way, is a girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. According to Neo-Freudian’s Carl Jung, it occurs at the age of 3-6*. This is where the fancied, ‘Daddy’s (little) Girl’ came from.
Many psychologist commonly refer to Carl Jung’s theory on our unconscious choice of spouse. I don’t disagree with them. However, it is not often the case.
In my situation, I was cast to have deep admiration with someone who is more influential between my parents, and that is my Mom. And since I am entirely my Dad’s genes, I grew to also be totally enticed with a partner who is completely the opposite of me. Just as Dad desired Mom, I fancy her too - someone who is completely like her.
TRIVIA: A gumamela flower (family of hibiscus) means 'Daddy's Girl'.
RELATED TOPICS: