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Updated: Aug 31, 2020


I was staying with a Chinese family in an old HDB* corner flat. My landlord was on his early forties, single and works as a taxi driver. The house matriarch is his elderly mother who still runs her hawker business just right down our HDB flat.


I shared my spacious and windy room with a Chinese lady from mainland China. She works in the same hospital as I do. We never talk much except every time she tells me her favourite English word, “wash”. That word actually signalled me that she is going to sleep and that I should also take a bath before I do.


Like the landlord and his mother, it was frustrating to communicate with my roommate for she speak little English. Though we often tried our best to understand each other through body language, it was challenging.


A couple of months after, the language barrier complicates our harmony inside the house. Unfortunately, cultural conflict rose as well and everyone in the flat decided for me to leave.

Always available, always willing to help. With him, I am confident I won’t worry his support.

Soon after, I found myself calling my boyfriend. I don’t know why but I see him reliable. Always available, always willing to help. With him, I am confident I won’t worry a support. I see him as my knight in shinning armour. My saviour. Few days after, he found a decent apartment for me to stay in the city. He arranged everything and readied the requirements for my transfer.


Few days after, I found myself in a messy move out. It was about 4 o’clock in the afternoon and I was sitting at the edge of a neighbour’s door right in front of the elevator. All my things encircled me and I was counting time to 6 pm, counting people going in and out of the lift and counting money for the remaining days before payday.


Finally, my bae arrived as promised. My relocation had been easy. He served as my hunter and porter. I was able to save labour and sweat throughout the process. My knight had also established friendship with my new roommate.


At 11pm, right after all my stuffs had been settled, my now roomie invited us to have some late night food tasting in a hawker centre just across the apartment.


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I enjoyed my 2.50 sgd seafood hor fun, I paired it with iced lemon tea in my regular no. 82 table.

Little that my new roommate know, she actually introduced to us into what became my favourite local noodle dish, Hor Fun. It is mainly a fried flat and dried rice noodles with egg gravy and garnished with delightful seafoods like shrimp, fish cake and/or chicken fillets. Spinach is also added and chops of jalapeño is optional but necessary for my tastebuds.


The stall was owned by petite and hardworking elder Chinese couple. It was only open late in the afternoon until midnight. Each time I enjoyed my 2.50 sgd seafood hor fun, I paired it with iced lemon tea in my regular no. 82 table.


To date, it was still my best hor fun dish that I kept on sharing and talking about with family and friends. My then boyfriend, who had helped me settle down in a peaceful household still gets a treat of this from me. Now, I am married to this man who had built a good food tradition in our relationship.

*HDB (Housing and Development Board) - A common term for Singapore's public residential building that houses 80% of its citizen's.

 
 
 

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PRINCESS ELECTRA

Electra is derived from the name of the Princess of Argos, the daughter of King Agamemnon and Queen Clytemnestra.


Princess Electra, together with his brother, Orestes, plotted a revenge against their mother and stepfather, Aegisthus, for their father’s murder. Electra, is one of the most popular Greek mythological characters in tragedies.


THE PSYCHO FATHERS

Electra Complex is a psychoanalytical term propounded by a Neo-Freudian Swiss Psychiatrist and founder of Analytical Psychology, Carl Gustav Jung. It is manifested by a young girl’s psychosexual rivalry against her mother for the possession of her father. Electra is also comparable to the Oedipus Complex of am Austrian Neurologist and founder of Psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, wherein a young boy psychosexually competes with his father for winning and possessing his mother.


SEXUAL CURIOSITY

According to Jung, the young girl’s attraction to his father occurs during the third (phallic) stage of Freud’s Five Levels of Sexual Development - that is between the age of 3 to 6 years old.


In Phallic Stage, the child’s sexual sensitivity is upon their genitalia. It is the stage when children becomes aware of their bodies and of their parent’s. The youngsters satisfy their curiosity and learn their physical differences by undressing and investigating each other and their sexual organs.


PENIS ENVY

Penis Envy is developed from girls towards all males. It is rooted from a biological awareness that without a penis she cannot sexually possess her mother. Thus, the girl redirects his desire to his father. Freud consider this desire as more emotionally intense.


TEMPORARY SOLUTION

The execution of defence mechanism provides transitory solution for the conflict of Id and Ego self drives. First through repression, where the memories, emotional impulses and conscious ideas are being blocked by the brain. Second is identification, in which the girl embody the personality of the mother. The objective is for a girl to develop a mature sexual role and identity as she grows up.


FAILURE TO RESOLVE

Fixation may arise if the sexual competition with the mother is unresolved. It may lead to a girl growing up to be a woman who struggles to control, overpower and seduce men due to unconscious penis envy. She may also have low self worth, be more submissive and less confident.


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Sources: Wikipedia


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Updated: Aug 31, 2020

The Man I wanted to Marry - My Father Continued…


PART 2


It was drizzling as I woke up. I wanted to go out to purchase something in the mall before the heavy rain pours. So, I hurried for my 'wake-up' routine. Few minutes later, I went downstairs and I saw an envelope at the dining table - the family was invited for my cousin’s wedding. Yeehaw!


A couple of months after, we were all dressed up for the event. I wore pink and glittery silk dress and a black stiletto with pink roses. Dad, wore the traditional barong and black slacks as compliance to the dress code. While mom, was - oh so beautiful with her pink cape and chiffon dress. She looks dropped-dead glorious.

The overlay was laid from the outside of the chapel to make the bridal walk a little bit longer.


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It was a sunny afternoon in a golf and country club chapel. And like many, the bride was fashionably late. While waiting for her arrival, guests were directed outside the chapel lawn to witness her walk. I positioned myself under the shade of lanterned trees. On my feet was the edge of the red carpet. The overlay was laid from the outside of the chapel to make the bridal walk a little bit longer. Dad had joined me while I am in deep thought.

I tried hard to be faithful

with my promises.

Yet now, I can’t help myself

not to break his heart.

_________



I occasionally glance at his face and noticed the glare of the sunlight on his forehead. Dad’s lines are more prominent now. Many things must have changed after many years. I was dismayed and confused. How can I let him know that I wanted to marry him? - someone exactly like him?, his mirror?


But now that I am an adult, some matters shifted. I tried hard to be faithful with my promises of marrying Dad - someone precisely like him. Yet now, I can’t help myself not to break his heart.


As years gone by, I became much more attracted to Mom instead. Lately, I was so drawn to a man who is my mom’s male version, a man who is perfectly like her. A man I passionately wanted to be with for the rest of my life.


An hour after the ceremony, the reception was held. We were seated right in front of the three-tier cake. Adjacent to it is where the bride’s father took her newly wed daughter for a special dance. As usual, I find it too sentimental. How can electra complex be reliable?


Electra complex, by the way, is a girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. According to Neo-Freudian’s Carl Jung, it occurs at the age of 3-6*. This is where the fancied, ‘Daddy’s (little) Girl’ came from.


Many psychologist commonly refer to Carl Jung’s theory on our unconscious choice of spouse. I don’t disagree with them. However, it is not often the case.


In my situation, I was cast to have deep admiration with someone who is more influential between my parents, and that is my Mom. And since I am entirely my Dad’s genes, I grew to also be totally enticed with a partner who is completely the opposite of me. Just as Dad desired Mom, I fancy her too - someone who is completely like her.

TRIVIA: A gumamela flower (family of hibiscus) means 'Daddy's Girl'.



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