The One That Got Away

Part 1: WHILE I WAS HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH LEON, I HAD RAIN

“You must see him! He’s too handsome. Everybody in the gang was attracted to him”, Ellie assured me. “I guarantee, you will like him too. His name is Rain”, she added while we were going down the stairs for her to Introduce me to him.

After Rain and I was acquainted, I sat in front of him while he was busy doing his assignments. He was quiet and poker-faced so I assumed the same aura to myself. I felt nothing special and different from what my friends had told me about seeing him for the first time. Its not that he wasn’t handsome like they claimed him to be. Its just that I felt no sparks at all.

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Few days had gone by, I gathered with my peers at the park for a planned birthday surprise. It was Rain’s. The party went well and when it was time for all of us to go, he stood up and made an awesome speech. I was startled and moved not by its content but because he did it with so much conviction. I heard leadership, command and power. I discerned someone who had so much potential of being a somebody. That night, I was convinced about him.

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Many days had past, Rain remained a campus heartthrob. I noticed he’s a good dresser and exudes self-confidence. On the other hand, I had been busy with my love interest - with someone I am falling in love with - Leon, a very comical and jolly person. Sadly though, Leon is too consumed with my beautiful friend, Beauty.

One day, Ellie came rushing to me. She wanted me to accompany her going to a bookstore to see Rain. “He was there! Please come with me. I wanted to see him even from afar”, she exclaimed. So we hurried and saw him there.

Rain was busy choosing books to buy. “See! I really like his style. And I’m cool to admit that I am crushing on him so bad!”, Ellie told me with so much admiration on him.

He was wearing a navy blue shirt and jeans. In my mind, “Yes, he has good taste.” I very much agree with Ellie but I chose to keep silent as I believe it wasn’t that important for me to say anything.

After a while, we tailed him from afar while he goes to a fast food restaurant to buy a chocolate coated sundae.

I can’t exactly remember how I got tied with Rain. Perhaps, its because of the common friends we had. One night, I just found myself in a shared taxi, going home with him. We were both living in the south of the metro.

Approximately, we spent 2 hours on the road talking about our weaknesses, the things we like to do for fun, the sports we always wanted to play, his brother who just recently died of cancer, his course enrolment struggles, his father’s job as an architect and many more. One thing that sticks to my mind though - its how close his face to me, his eyes twinkling with happiness and his smile that never fades until he finally arrived in his destination and I was left to continue my own journey.

That first ride home started our closeness. in fact, he tries to piss and tease me about looking like the old famous actress. Even if he wasn’t successful in poking me, our friends started to call me, Amelia, the veteran’s actress name.

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More days had past, Leon and Beauty started dating each other. I was so heartbroken and my world began to shatter. I tried to move on alone and shut the people around me. I was so hurt that I began not to see my friends.

Until one day, Rain bumped at me and told me that he wanted to see me after class. I felt a bit of excitement but I unconsciously suppressed it. Nevertheless, we continued this set-up for the rest of the semester.

Often, he will extend his hand for me to hold as I go out of the class. Other times, he will start to call my name outside our classroom if our instructor doesn’t dismiss us on time. Always, we will hang out first before we will finally ride a shared taxi home.

Our favourite routine is buying a chocolate sundae in a fast food restaurant where Ellie and I used to follow him from a distance. Then, we will sit at the nearby park and enjoy the ice cream together - often without a word from each other. This was actually the moment where I knew we had gone from friends to best of friends, simply because we are mutually aware that silence doesn’t made us uncomfortable being with each other.

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The next semester, Rain started to struggle maintaining his grades, he decided to rent a boarding house near our university. This is when our ‘going home’ routine ended. We still see each other after class though. There are times, we will play arnis* up until evening and there are times we will go to our drama club together for a practice.

I also had a fair share of challenges. My health was hit and I undergone a facial surgery. I took a long leave from classes to rest until I received a call. It was Rain. He asked me to meet him at the park overlooking the Manila bay. My heart leaped a bit to finally see my best friend again.

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The set day came, our pals, Ellie and Neil fetched me from home. Halfway to the vicinity, they covered my eyes and let me walk with them for another 30 minutes until we reached the vicinity. When they finally took off the hanky from my eyes, I was surprised!

Rain, had picnic cloth, lighted candles, snack foods, red wine and glasses. He decorated the spot by scattering red rose petals and chocolate candies. Before we sat down to a romantic night, a couple right at the far end crawled out from their tent and told me how sweet my boyfriend was. I answered back telling them he was just my best friend.

We happily moved on talking about life in general and savouring the prepared food. Afterwards, we decided to rent a cycled rickshaw. We drove around merrily and when Rain saw a group of street children admiring us, he called them, jumped out of the rickshaw and whispered something to them. So, I decided to return the bicycle instead.

As soon as I came back, the children were all lined up. Rain queued them for a choreographed song and dance complete with props of letters, spelling “I Love You”. I was so stunned and delighted. But more on how he had orchestrated the night. Also, the stars aligned when suddenly, there were fireworks from somewhere. We fancied it until the end of the display. As soon as it dies out, it signalled us that we should call it a night.

Immediately after, Ellie and Neil had left. But Rain refused to take me home. Instead, he invited me to go to a nearby 5 star hotel. Just when I am about to say, “I can't”, he held my hand tightly and off we go...

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*ARNIS - Philippines’ national martial art sports. It is a fight mainly using a wooden sticks.

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Lessons I Learned From My Travel With Mom

PART 2:

I wandered around the town - walked and walked tagging along my heavy baggage. I can still remember some of the places around. It all looked the same as my childhood recollection of it, except that it is older and filthier.

As soon as I begun to feel tired, I took a jeepney, crossed the scary and disorganised road and searched for a pension house to stay. I chose a room with 2 double beds. I was hoping that I can persuade mom to sleep with me. But ironically, I opt to off my phone so she wouldn’t be able to reach me. Afterwards, I shut the world around me.

I felt good and well rested when I woke up early at night. I called Mom and she offered to pick me up for a dinner with relatives. I declined. But of course, Mom is Mom. She always wins. She eventually convinced me to stay with her at Aunt's place. So the next day, I met her at the mall full of displayed masks because the city is celebrating their first day of Maskara (Mask) Festival. I went gaga and was interrupted when Aunt Yen arrived to fetch us.

Anyway, I busied myself mapping out the places I wanted to visit on our first night at Aunt's residence. Before we sleep, Mom talked to her about my plans. Unfortunately, Aunt discouraged me and she won that night.

The next day, Uncle Martin was supposed to drive us so we can settle Mom's agendas. But he suddenly had something more urgent to attend. We resort in taking a public transport instead. Our commute wasn't comfortable due to all the dust and smoke that pestered us along the way. But mom is determined to sell our ramshackle house and lot. I was hurt when we arrived at the vicinity and to finally let go of something that had been valuable to us. It was full of precious childhood memories.

Days gone by, I was always left at Aunt’s. Mom had been too busy in processing the papers of our properties which she was selling. Two days before we will bid good bye to the province, I asked mom if we could at least go to the famous hot spring resort. She refused telling me that she did not come all the way from Manila for leisure. She was there to settle important matters. I was stunned.

Swiftly, I remember her telling me over the phone that she needs to go back to Negros to sell our estate. But I diffused it. I replaced what I heard with what I wanted to hear. I felt disappointed from I don't know whom - myself or Mom.

The next day, I occupied myself playing with Aunt’s dogs and preparing our bags back to Manila. In my mind, was a repetition of all the days we stayed in Bacolod. I was there for pleasure after a hard months of working abroad. I wanted to unwind, explore around, shot attractive photos, and enjoy the culture. But Mom's purpose was to engage in settling our property. To her, that is what she came for and that only matters.

We went back in Manila with all of her schedules a success while mine wasn't pushed through. Looking at her, I can see fortitude. Mom was mom. She is still the master. Even if sometimes at my age it was hard for me to obey her. She always executes firmness with all her decisions. Because of that, my respect to her had grown more.

Some people said to try travelling with our mother because there will be plenty of valuable lessons to learn. In fact, after my ruined itinerary, I was still glad, I travelled with Mom. I had deepened my understanding of how we are different from each other. I saw the other side of her strength and personality. Above all, I realised that not all people travel the same way as we do albeit we journey together. Each time we travel, may have different purpose and different experience.

Sometimes I found myself arguing with my husband because I refuse to go in a touristy places where most people go. I feel like I will not be of different from them. But my travel with Mom made me realised that despite we all go to the same places, our exposures, insights and feelings may not always be the same as the others. Our background, values, reasons for visiting the place, may influence the overall experience. After all, its the journey, the lessons from the people we travelled with, and the magic it creates when we knew ourselves and the one we travel with in a deeper way.

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I Travelled With My Mother And We Had A Huge Fight

PART 1

A phone call from mom woke me up. She decided to disturb me with her news of going for a vacation in our province. For me, It was almost 30 years since I haven’t been to my birthplace. Although, I have lots of happy memories from my hometown, it was never easy to go home. First, because plane flights are not as popular, convenient and cheap during my younger years. Second, because mom had a phobia in travelling by the sea. And third, because we simply doesn’t have any time or good reason to go back.

For my mother, going back after many years was a thrill. I can obviously hear her excitement from the other side of the world. Her delight influenced me into blurting out that I wanted to go and travel with her. I saw that it was a good chance to finally re-explore the place where half of my childhood memories sets. Also, it was a fine time to finally travel and bond with mom.

After we hang up the phone, I’m into another dimension imagining all the beautiful scenery I wanted to witness. I was also listing in my mind all the food and restaurants which I wanted to try. As our set date is nearing, I began packing my huge luggage full of nice attires. I played dressed-up in the mirror to simulate all the cute dresses I prepared. I was so ready that I forgot nothing including having to pack a fully charged camera battery. Yes, I’m feelin’ touristy and ecstatic.

When the day finally came, I met mom at the airport. I decided to take a short layover in Manila to wait for her and have a an hour flight together going to Bacolod. Bacolod is the capital city of Negros Occidental, a large island that hails from the Visayas region of the Philippines. Basically, it was situated in the central part of the country.

I reviewed my bucket list while on flight too make sure I had used up all our time well in exploring the city. I also squeezed a side trip going to the famous beautiful beach. In fact, I expanded  my time by deciding to go straight to the airport after an exhausting 12 hours night shift duty. That means, I was wide awake for more than 24 hours when mom and I arrived from our destination.

The city (as I recall it) doesn’t changed much after almost 3 decades. So, it was not surprising that mom was already unfamiliar with the specificity of the place. As we got to the town where the address is directing us, we decided to ask people in each corner of the streets if they knew someone named Yen - mom’s long lost cousin. This system of finding someone made me really exhausted.

Until, finally we were directed to a town hall. A good-hearted security guard allowed us to wait for their boss. According to him, the director of the geological division of the city will be reporting anytime soon. She is Aunt Yen.

We were allowed to wait for aunt to report for work at the outdoor garage. It was almost noontime and the sun on our faces was already causing too much discomfort. That moment ignited me with tantrums. I felt like I was going crazy and will soon pass out from the heat and not having sleep. I tried so hard to nap but I simply can’t with all the inconvenience. Also, I kept on asking the guards about the time and grumble every minute. I started to complain about how people in the province are taking things too slow. At this moment, Mom, in her effort to divert my irritation, asked me to go out for a while and explore the places nearby.

She took me to the cathedral where we used to worship every Sunday. The church looks and feels like I time-travelled from my past. I can see that mom is having a good time reminiscing all her past experiences in the place. Of course, I poses for lots of shots. What else should I do but materialise my touristy desire. When we eventually decided to go home, we passed by my kindergarten. I felt proud and saw how mom was all smile and happy.

However, when we got back at the town hall to anticipate for my Aunt, we were greeted with a bad news. Aunt Yen will only be able to report for duty in the afternoon. This announcement by the securities boiled my blood to death. How can I even rest and move on for our next itinerary? I begun to wail at my mom. I blamed her for the ruined day.

We are supposed to stay at my Aunt’s house. She invited us to stay in their abode for 2 weeks. In addition, her husband freed up his schedule to drive us into places. But I gave mom all the sharp look, dragged my stuffs and shouted b@llsh#ts at her while I leave her behind.

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