My Husband is a Foodie and He Has Fatty Liver

Have you ever felt frustrated because your husband is binging much unhealthy food? We as a wife could sometimes get too anxious and over-react about how and what our significant others eat. Perhaps it was our instinct to care for those we love. In fact, we like to nourish them well to be able to thrive in life. Many of us felt the responsibility of serving them the healthiest meals we knew. This, even to the point that sometimes, when they don’t like the edibles, we force them to ingest it simply because we believe it is good for their health. Like many wives (and mothers), I am guilty of it, and many times I crank out when I count my husband's calorie intake while he chew. I knew I’m a bad wife doing it, but how can I control being a control freak?

During the first quarter of 2017 my husband was diagnosed having a fatty liver. I worried much. I question all the dishes I prepared and all our food preference when we go out. I can’t help myself not to blame all the lunches he is eating in the office and every time he is out of country without me. I felt inefficient and ineffective as a wife. It drags my self-esteem. So, most of the time I hustled on researching all the menu I could find, took down notes and religiously obeyed the recipes.

In the succeeding quarters of the year, we found ourselves like a topper winding here and there. He was booked for an ample of business travels around Southeast Asia. Because of it, we seldom spent some quality time together. Eventually, we decided to arranged a ticket going to Manila so we could be together after his office loads.

November 23, 2017 (day 3 of our stay in the hotel in Manila - and basically we just repeated our routine since our first day of stay)

7:03 AM

The company had booked him in a 4-star hotel at CBD area. And like many hotels, guests were greeted with a ‘good morning’ and a parade of tantalising and dazzling breakfast buffet. There’s nothing wrong with the food they prepared and its early in the morning anyway. But with my husband’s choices, I begun to be paranoid. Maybe there’s nothing really incorrect anyway ‘cause it depends how balance the intakes are. Nevertheless, witnessing his eating habits while away from home almost faints me. Ironic because I can’t help but to mimic him while complaining. Soon after, we found ourselves down to our 4th and last plate - the desserts.

But how always is always? And how seldom is seldom?

12:36 PM

Lunch time came and he fetched me at the hotel lobby. I can tell he is excited for our fast and mini lunch date to the mall nearby. After a few minutes of choosing from a wide array of food in the court, he pulled out a sizzling plate of buttered fried rice topped with sunny side up egg with Filipino version of beef steak and chopped veggies on the side. With his beam behind the smoke that went up the plate, I can tell he was glad with what he had on hand. Food does really make him happy. In fact, he keeps on reminding me that. He insist that he doesn’t have any vices but food and add up by reasoning that his craze is not always anyway. But how always is always? And how seldom is seldom? I’m not sure if that supposed to make me mad or not. I just responded prompting him to be a little bit conscious with his diet especially after his diagnosis.

1:15 PM

We were in the fast food cafe for some take-away desserts. We had s’mores brownies each and we ate it like there was no tomorrow. How can I say no to his allurement?

6:44 PM

We went out for dinner and being away in Philippines for quite a long time, we missed the local food. So, we browsed the nearby mall for some, until we saw a restaurant that appeals to us. Their interior was homey and girly with emphasis on political history of the country. He had white rice topped with pork floss and bistek (Filipino version of beef steak), and we shared a bowl of dinuguan (pork blood stew), sinigang na bangus belly (sour soup with milkfish belly), and a plate of pinakbet (sauteed mixed vegetables). As usual, we treat ourselves with desserts. We ordered leche flan (milk pudding) and banana langka turon (banana and jackfruit fritters).

Going back to the hotel, I was counting and whining about what kind of food we had throughout the day. I doubted if I was just me being so paranoid or was the food really fatty and sugary.

9:13 PM

I switched on the hotel water kettle and and made some coffee and tea. We don’t like it strong, so we helped ourselves with a creamer and sugar. Though it was against my will, I gave in. We indulged with our coffee and tea while we watch a television movie. We paired it with chocolate filled cookies, by the way.

11:00 PM

I can’t close my eyes to sleep while thinking about the breakfast buffet for tomorrow. How I wish we could somehow control fats and sugar in our plates and replace it with something nutritious and body detoxifying food instead. Sigh! What a night and what a diet. I knew somethings ‘gotta change especially if it means taking care of fatty liver.

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RELATED TOPIC:

https://www.thediaryofahousewife.com/post/the-natural-remedy-we-tried-for-fatty-liver

I Spent Three Years of My Life in Love Limbo

I was ready. I was emotionally set to take my relationship with my then boyfriend (now husband), into the next deeper level. I wanted to settle down and live side by side with him everyday. But he was not.

This cycle had been consistent for three years. I was left in too much uncertainty.

He was like a ball bouncing back and forth into our relationship. He likes texting me for a date then left me with zero communication for weeks after meeting up. This cycle had been consistent for three years. I was left in too much uncertainty. In my future plans, he was always in the picture but in my present activities he is blurry - always missing.

I am like in a guessing game, for many years, I kept my eyes close and trust the uncertainties. Unanswered questions on my mind arise like, ‘Will I trust that we will have forever? Or will I give the relationship up, look for someone else who’s on the same page as mine and not wait in vain?’ These doubts I refuse to clear up. Probably because I am afraid to accept whatever his reasons will be and partly because I am hopelessly devoted - longing to be considered as ‘the one’ if I stay.

At that time, I also find it easier to pretend to myself that things are alright between us than accept the fact that we could probably break apart.

My boyfriend was obviously considering many aspects of his life before committing to a lifetime with me (or maybe not with me). He was discernibly lost, trying to check out what his life would be with others than having me. Although he does not actually look for sophisticated single ladies to date with (as I would like to believe so), but he demonstrably flirt and attempt friendship with them. He tried to keep them in his circle - without me. I wasn’t involve in his other side of personal life, I didn’t know his deepest thoughts and future framework.

Whilst, I go with the waves, float around and desperately wish that someday I can finally find the spirit of whether to let loose or hold tight. The only decision I made was to just be contactable whenever he needs me.

Moving forward, I hustled our wasted day spending meaningful and fun time with friends.

Over our hopeful and happy mood was a plate of onion pork sizzling, a bowl of chicken soup, a serving of stirred fired kailan leaves and a savoury lemoned fish fillet.

One day, I decided to open up with my new junior pals regarding my relationship status. I’m not really sure how they can relate to me but I feel good to talk it out. I was surprised how supportive they were when after my emotional meltdown they proposed to cheer me by chilling out.

They treat me for a hearty Chinese cuisine dinner at Chinatown. Over our hopeful and happy mood was a plate of onion pork sizzling, a bowl of chicken soup, a serving of stirred fired kailan leaves and a savoury lemoned chicken. Sometimes, a good meal shared with friends are better than my dinner date with my ‘limbo rock’ dinner dates.

How I Knew He Is Someone Reliable

I was staying with a Chinese family in an old HDB* corner flat. My landlord was on his early forties, single and works as a taxi driver. The house matriarch is his elderly mother who still runs her hawker business just right down our HDB flat.

I shared my spacious and windy room with a Chinese lady from mainland China. She works in the same hospital as I do. We never talk much except every time she tells me her favourite English word, “wash”. That word actually signalled me that she is going to sleep and that I should also take a bath before I do.

Like the landlord and his mother, it was frustrating to communicate with my roommate for she speak little English. Though we often tried our best to understand each other through body language, it was challenging.

A couple of months after, the language barrier complicates our harmony inside the house. Unfortunately, cultural conflict rose as well and everyone in the flat decided for me to leave.

Always available, always willing to help. With him, I am confident I won’t worry his support.

Soon after, I found myself calling my boyfriend. I don’t know why but I see him reliable. Always available, always willing to help. With him, I am confident I won’t worry a support. I see him as my knight in shinning armour. My saviour. Few days after, he found a decent apartment for me to stay in the city. He arranged everything and readied the requirements for my transfer.

Few days after, I found myself in a messy move out. It was about 4 o’clock in the afternoon and I was sitting at the edge of a neighbour’s door right in front of the elevator. All my things encircled me and I was counting time to 6 pm, counting people going in and out of the lift and counting money for the remaining days before payday.

Finally, my bae arrived as promised. My relocation had been easy. He served as my hunter and porter. I was able to save labour and sweat throughout the process. My knight had also established friendship with my new roommate.

At 11pm, right after all my stuffs had been settled, my now roomie invited us to have some late night food tasting in a hawker centre just across the apartment.

I enjoyed my 2.50 sgd seafood hor fun, I paired it with iced lemon tea in my regular no. 82 table.

Little that my new roommate know, she actually introduced to us into what became my favourite local noodle dish, Hor Fun. It is mainly a fried flat and dried rice noodles with egg gravy and garnished with delightful seafoods like shrimp, fish cake and/or chicken fillets. Spinach is also added and chops of jalapeño is optional but necessary for my tastebuds.

The stall was owned by petite and hardworking elder Chinese couple. It was only open late in the afternoon until midnight. Each time I enjoyed my 2.50 sgd seafood hor fun, I paired it with iced lemon tea in my regular no. 82 table.

To date, it was still my best hor fun dish that I kept on sharing and talking about with family and friends. My then boyfriend, who had helped me settle down in a peaceful household still gets a treat of this from me. Now, I am married to this man who had built a good food tradition in our relationship.

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*HDB (Housing and Development Board) - A common term for Singapore's public residential building that houses 80% of its citizen's.